just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize