I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize