Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
