someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
