If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize