NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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