We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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