Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
