Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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