He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
