Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
