My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
