We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
