What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
