Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize