lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
