Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
