i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
