I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
