Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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