im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
