Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
