I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
