This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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