what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
