We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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