i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
