To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
