Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
