How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
