id be glad to
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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