i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
