Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hell yes lets make some ravioli
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
