ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
