If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
