Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
