He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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