i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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