he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
