i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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