he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize