oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
