zippers are such a cool invention
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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