fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
