Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
