Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...

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(970): View more from Colorado

Oh. He liked you.

(970): View more from Colorado

Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

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(408): View more from California

It's chlamydia! Thank God!

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(702): View more from Nevada

No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.

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(650): View more from California

Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.

(734): View more from Michigan

please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso

(603): View more from New Hampshire

:)

(603): View more from New Hampshire

i can feel colors

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