Yo dont text me then not text me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
