I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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