so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
