can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
