Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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