Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
