i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
