Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
