problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize