I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
