yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
